As the month of love comes to an end (off topic, January felt like a year, February felt like a day, or is it just me?) I feel I should share with you my favourite rom-coms and some thoughts on love, in general. Let’s make something clear from the start: I have nothing agains love or February, I just have something against the business of love and capitalism’s view on how we should manifest it.

So, let’s talk movies and leave philosophy aside for a moment. Nothing says romantic comedy as well as Hugh Grant says it. Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill are two of the best movies of this genre ever made. From the soundtrack to the good British humor, from the characters to Hugh Grant’s amazing hair and features and voice, they are just perfect. Who didn’t want to be Julia Roberts or Andie MacDowell just to sit next to Hugh, not to say kiss him?

As we continue our journey and cross the Atlantic Ocean, we meet Meg Ryan. Her wits, her goofiness, her smile, her everything is absolutely mesmerizing in When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail. These movies, as their British cousins mentioned above are the true testimony that a rom-com is only as good as its dialogues. The way Meg Ryan talks to Tom Hanks, the way she teases Billy Crystal, the way Hugh Grant mumbles his lines and the way Julia Roberts says her famous line in the bookstore, you can’t beat that.

Before I get to my favourite one of all, here are some honorary mentions. I quite enjoyed No Strings Attached. I felt that the chemistry between Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher was reminiscent of good old school rom-coms and that the dialogue was on point: witty, sarcastic, goofy, lovable. Then there is About Time. A romantic movie that also has a bittersweet side to it. The marriage proposal in About Time is the greatest one of all cinema: nothing planned, he just has an A-ha moment and realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, rushes home, wakes her up and proposes. Intimate, authentic and simple. Just perfect.

And now, drumroll please…my favourite rom-com: My Best Friend’s Wedding. Why is that? Well, great script, great actors, etcetera, etcetera, all that jazz, but also, great message. Because all the movies I’ve mentioned before, with the exception of About Time, have a great flaw in common: they have a happy ending and they don’t show us what happens after the great big kiss. About Time, being a movie about life and not just love, has a few ups and downs along the way that challenge the couple and test their bond.

Now, getting back to My Best Friend’s Wedding. This movie shows Julia Roberts trying to stop her best friend’s wedding because she’s still in love with him. After all her efforts, schemes and plots, he still choses the goofy, innocent Cameron Diaz and drives into the sunset with her by his side. Then the magic happens: we see what happens to the girl who didn’t get the boy. Of course we all wish to be Julia Roberts “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” kind of character, but sometimes we are Julia Roberts “Choose me, marry me, let me make you happy.” And that’s perfectly fine, we don’t always get what we want.

The last scene of the movie has the message very bluntly pointed out by her amazing friend George: “Life goes on. Maybe there won’t be marriage, maybe there won’t be sex, but, by God, there’ll be dancing!” he says as he’s making his appearance at the wedding party.

So this is the kind of love I’m supporting and encouraging: self-love. Because dancing can mean something different to anyone out there: solo traveling, drawing, baking, reading, dancing, skincare routine, saying NO more often, putting yourself first or just listening to your instincts. Because, at the end of the day, you are all you’ve got, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, you’ve got you. Cherish that and, by God, dance!