Yesterday I watched The Fabelmans, Steven Spielberg’s most recent movie. For whatever reason, I was a bit skeptical. Even though I enjoyed watching E.T. or Indiana Jones, something held me back. Maybe the fact that, for a moment, I forgot he also made Schindler’s List, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan or Catch Me If You Can or maybe because I was afraid it would be just another blockbuster, but I wasn’t eager to watch it.

Within the first ten minutes of the movie, I realized just how wrong I was. I was mesmerized and completely hooked. The cinematography, the script, the soundtrack (composed by none other than John Williams, whom we have to thank for so many catchy tunes, Harry Potter, Home Alone or Jaws fans know what I’m talking about), the characters and the whole feeling of the movie are truly exceptional.

The movie depicts Spielberg’s becoming years, how he discovered his talent for capturing superb images and his love for telling stories through the lenses of a camera. The movie is also a love letter to his parents, a perfectionist engineer and his wife, a piano playing, ballet dancing, having a monkey for a pet kinda of woman.

Without giving too many spoilers, I just want to talk about what struck me the most about this story. Well, it’s simple: the support received by young Sammy (aka young Steven) from his parents, sisters, friends and teachers and his determination to succeed in the movie industry.

I am jealous on Spielberg as I was jealous on Paolo Sorrentino after watching The Hand of God. You see, at ten I wrote a play about Native Americans, Pocahontas inspired princesses and cowboys and wrote it in such a manner that my cousin and I could play all the parts. In middle school, at the end of the year I used to take my camera with me and interview my colleagues. During university years I made several videos, especially during the exam period, videos with my dorm mates and the fun stuff we did, out of boredom of out of exhaustion. When I hear a song I imagine what scene would go with it and when I see a scene in real life I try to find a song to go with it.

I am so utterly in love with movies that I could spend hours talking about them, documenting them, watching them or learning about them. When I shyly told my dad I wanted to become a director, he convinced me to go to med school. I can understand now that it was an advice given out of fear, my parents are true scaredy-cats, raised in communism with the idea that if you are not a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer or a teacher, you’ll starve to death. But I could have become a teacher of movies, just saying.

Fast- forward a few years, when I finished med school and I found out that there is such a thing as Film Studies and I could have done that in Cluj! I could have become a film critic, a festival organizer or I could have taught Film Studies…

What I feel now is frustration. Not even on my parents, I’m over that. I’m angry at myself for not having enough balls at eighteen to stand my ground and follow my heart. I am angry about the mental cage I’m trapped in that says it’s too late to change my career course. I’m angry about the nine years I’ve invested in becoming an orthodontist and the fact that I don’t feel any passion for it. I’m angry on the perfect kid I used to be, a kid that would have never disobeyed his parents or their ideas.

What can I do? How angry should I get in order to change something? I’m comfortably numb and that doesn’t help. Where to begin? What to change? Is it too late? Is it just an illusion that makes me think I’ll like it and I’ll be good at it? Is the movie industry just a promised land or would I fit in it? So many question…You see, this is why The Fabelmans is such a great movie. It makes you ask questions you would have otherwise avoided.